Aviation Jokes

[MooneyMitch]

....... and I can still fly my Mooney !!

[kerry]

What's the difference between a Beech Bonanza and a porcupine?  A Beech Bonanza has its pricks on the inside.

[Skydancer2992]

[Nick Pilotte]

Yeah, the rabbit did NOT walk away from that one. 

[MooneyMitch]

I thought of this while flying today.................

During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies.  Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends?

[DXB]

On 10/26/2020 at 10:25 PM, kerry said:

What's the difference between a Beech Bonanza and a porcupine?  A Beech Bonanza has its pricks on the inside.

Substituting "Cirrus" would modernize this joke 

[wishboneash]

My low ball offer for  $10 didn't make it. Maybe I should raise it to $15? Free shipping! That's a relief.

[Missile=Awesome]

On 10/26/2020 at 9:25 PM, kerry said:

What's the difference between a Beech Bonanza and a porcupine?  A Beech Bonanza has its pricks on the inside.

Had a used 535i and a hanger mate (Taildragger) told me that “joke” when I pulled up to hanger one day.  I really felt bad when he had a couple Bose headsets stolen...what a douche.

[0TreeLemur]

On 10/30/2020 at 11:23 AM, Nick Pilotte said:

Yeah, the rabbit did NOT walk away from that one. 

He FLEW!

[0TreeLemur]

On 10/26/2020 at 11:18 AM, m20rangerpilot said:

A long time ago in a land far-far-away, I flew a 152 from southeast Colorado to Boulder/Jefferson County (BJC) airport to take the PPL written.  My instructor told me to fly to southwest Denver, then north up the corridor between the Stapleton TCA and the front range.   I was 16.

After flying VFR through the Arapahoe County approach path and scaring anyone on final to death (if they saw me), and then turning north, I contacted BJC tower and told them that I was a student pilot, but I couldn't find the airport.   He asked me to look for big blue water tanks on the ground.

Me: I see the tanks, I'm a few miles south.

BJC TWR: You're on left base for the active runway.  Clear to land.  Everyone else stay out of the way.

[tmo]

Talk about helpful and cooperative ATC! Guess you were already in the Bravo

Edited November 16, 2020 by tmo

[0TreeLemur]

7 hours ago, tmo said:

Talk about helpful and cooperative ATC! Guess you were already in the Bravo

That was 1981, so class B didn't yet exist.  More correctly, I was not in the Stapleton TCA.  That said, even today the DEN class B has a nice corridor about 10 miles wide running north-south along the front of the Rockies.   Mountains repel class B airspace. 

The controller was very understanding, and I was very clueless.  Unforgettable experience. 

[Nick Pilotte]

23 hours ago, Missile=Awesome said:

Had a used 535i and a hanger mate (Taildragger) told me that “joke” when I pulled up to hanger one day.  I really felt bad when he had a couple Bose headsets stolen...what a douche.

Right after I got married, we found a really neat 335 coupe to replace my wife’s CLK.  She got flipped off and honked at more in that BMW than ever before or since.  And she was/is actually a really good driver.  She had it for 2 years and we replaced it with another AMG.  No more honking or fingers...... You should have seen my face when she said she likes the Range Rover when our child situation dictated a coupe no longer a reasonable car.  I told her if she thought she was subjected to abuse in a BMW, just wait.....

[Bolter]

On 11/15/2020 at 7:41 AM, wishboneash said:

My low ball offer for  $10 didn't make it. Maybe I should raise it to $15? Free shipping! That's a relief.

When I see these ridiculously priced items, I suspect there is some money laundering or something nefarious going on.  

[Nick Pilotte]

How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One.  They hold it and the world revolves around them. 

[Skydancer2992]

[MooneyMitch]

Can’t bear to use this as a microfiber towel........ and that’s no joke ! 

[DXB]

[carusoam]

Now... you all have CCR in your head... it will last a few hours...

Way to go Dev!

-a-

[Skydancer2992]

[Awful_Charlie]

Cessna driver is better at keeping the nose wheel on the yellow line but it's the 747 driver that really needs to

[Hank]

Early in my piloting journey, I picked up my brother at KCRW, a Class C only because it's the state capital. He was incredibly nervous as we taxied my "little plane" out between "all those airliners."  

[Skydancer2992]

I need to print some of these.

[Hank]

17 minutes ago, Skydancer2992 said:

I need to print some of these.

Can you please print a couple or three for me???

[Nick Pilotte]

9 minutes ago, Hank said:

Can you please print a couple or three for me???

I’d love to have that file to print too.