Aviation Jokes

[Gone]

23 hours ago, xcrmckenna said:

Not quite a joke....




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An accounts receivable ledger?   I don't know how you do it, but my money going to the Mooney is not really a receivable.  

[Hank]

52 minutes ago, Ned Gravel said:

An accounts receivable ledger?   I don't know how you do it, but my money going to the Mooney is not really a receivable.  

It's receivable for somebody . . . . .  

[Wildhorsesracing]

15 hours ago, Hank said:

It's receivable for somebody . . . . .  

I know there is money in aviation... 'cause I keep putting it there!

[bob865]

16 hours ago, Ned Gravel said:

I don't know how you do it, but my money going to the Mooney is not really a receivable.  

Somebody's receiving it.  Unfortunately for you, it's not you.

[Wildhorsesracing]

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces a landing?

Boeing!

[DXB]

times are tough for pilots, gotta get by. I'd never dream of doing this type of work in my Mooney tho.

 

[Tony Starke]

4 hours ago, DXB said:

times are tough for pilots, gotta get by. I'd never dream of doing this type of work in my Mooney tho.

 

 

[steingar]

On 11/28/2017 at 10:46 PM, Bartman said:

Not exactly a joke, but this seems like a fitting place to post this. 

This past weekend I flew into Wood County OH airport. Toledo approach asked me to report the airport in sight. It was all I could do to keep myself from responding "Mooney 1TF has Wood."

Could be worse.  The identifier for the Toledo Suburban Airport in Lambertville Michigan is DUH.

[Nick Pilotte]

Taken from an MS thread from years ago....

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." 
TWA 2341:  "Center, we are at 35,000 feet.. How much noise can we make up here?" 
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

[M20FTraveler]

Thanks for reincarnating the joke thread.  My wife even missed it.  Keep it going!

[DXB]

[G-SLOT]

Read this one many years ago on a UK forum and it made me laugh out loud - supposedly true:

USAF F15 (speaking very quickly): Scottish, Fast Eagle 01, with you.

Scottish Control: Ehhh, aircraft calling, say again.

USAF F15 (speaking just as fast): Fast Eagle 01, with you.

Scottish Control (after a slight pause): OK... Testicle 01, squawk ident, climb altitude 9,000.

USAF F15 (angrily): Dammit Scottish, negative! (spelling phonetically): F-A-S-T-E-A-G-L-E 01.

 

[G-SLOT]

...or the one about the Pan Am Captain in the 1960s who taxied off the runway after landing at Frankfurt and, although being cleared to the gate, stopped on the taxiway.

The Frankfurt controller repeated the taxi clearance to which the captain responded that he was not sure which way to turn.

Frustrated at the Pan Am jet holding up traffic, the Frankfurt controller brusquely asked the captain whether he had ever flown to Frankfurt before.

The captain replied: yes, once, about 20 years ago, but I didn't stop that time.

Edited October 11, 2020 by G-SLOT

[GeeBee]

Man walks into a bar every day. He always stinks, really bad. I mean clear the bar stools bad. Finally the bartender asks, "Why do you stink so bad". The man replied, "It is my job, I work at the airport"

The bartender asks, "What do you do at the airport?" He says, "I empty the toilets, and every time I open the service door a little bit of sewage drops on my head". He goes on, "If I take a few days off it goes away, but with 5 days a week, even if I shower after my shift, it gets into my pores and won't go away."

The bartender says, "That's terrible, why don't you quit and get another job."

The man screams, "WHAT, GET OUT OF AVIATION?"

 

[GeeBee]

How do you spot flight attendants at a party? They are behind the curtains eating.

 

 

[Air pirate]

How to you overhaul a flight attendant?

 

stuff in a ham and then pull out the bone 

 

I’ll be leaving now

[flyboy0681]

56 minutes ago, Air pirate said:

How to you overhaul a flight attendant?

 

stuff in a ham and then pull out the bone 

 

I’ll be leaving now

What about the El Al flight attendants?

[Nick Pilotte]

On 10/14/2020 at 10:19 AM, flyboy0681 said:

What about the El Al flight attendants?

Find a Rabbi to bless it?

[MooneyMitch]

I was thinking of aviation just before I found this funny thing................does that count?

[thinwing]

a well dressed gentleman taxis up to the FBO and yells I want to see Vicky!!......oh never mind...

[MooneyMitch]

[DXB]

guuuaaaarrrrrrdd....

[MooneyMitch]

[Nick Pilotte]

Maybe from this thread....If so, sorry.

Tower (helping a lost pilot): “What was your last known position?”

Pilot: “When I was cleared for takeoff”

[AH-1 Cobra Pilot]

4 hours ago, m20rangerpilot said:

I believe I can fly---

He deserves to be wracked as bad as he is about to get.