Significant other that will not fly?

[kerry]

valium works pretty well for my wife.

[1964-M20E]

Well I had my pilot’s license a little more than a year before I met my wife 24 years ago.  I took her flying as well as a couple of other girlfriends before that.  All were ok with the idea.  One of the selling points of getting a Mooney my first airplane was to go see our daughter who lives about 10 hours away by car. With no bathroom (yeah right) stop we can make it in the Mooney in 3.5 to 4 hours leaving an hour to spare at 10gph.  Weather permitting we are making our first trip in the plane at the end of the month.  It will be tight in the E model with my son (15, 5’-9” and growing) along for the ride as well.  In fact my wife is more willing to go flying with me than my son.  Of course I had to get on him; he went for a helicopter ride over the weekend at a local festival.  He is willing to fly in the helicopter but not with me.  I might have to get my rotor wing license.

She surprised me Saturday, I was going flying to fly over the Bonnet Carrie Spillway and she asked to go along.  This made the second time she has been in the plane since I bought it a year ago. 

[mooneyflyer]

In the beginning, my wife used to get sick in the plane.  What chance did we have to fly together?  She loves travelling around the US, so that's what we did.  In the begining, she loved the places we flew and places we visited.  Then we went to weekend flyins with the Vintage Mooney Group, and she made lots of friends.  Now she can't wait to get into the Mooney to visit friends and see new places.  And she also loves getting places FAST and also makes me go lower and divert to see stuff on the ground that she finds interesting...

[leesh]

Quote: GeorgePerry

I respectfully disagree.  Here are some statistics from the national highway safey adimistration and the FAA.  In 2009, 34,000 Americans died on US highways.  In that same year the U.S. had a population of 307,006,550.  Studies show the average American conservatively spends 100+ hours per year in a car.  Those numbers equate to a vehicle-based fatality rate of 9.02 deaths per 100,000 hours of driving.  During the same year, General Aviation aircraft flew 20,456,000 hours with only 272 Fatalities.  That equates to a General Aviation aircraft fatality rate of 1.33 deaths per 100,000 hours of flying.  So it’s factually accurate to say travelers are 6.5 times more likely to die in a car than a General Aviation aircraft.  Statistics clearly show the most dangerous part of going somewhere in a GA aircraft is getting to the airport in a car. 

[fantom]

Quote: Parker_Woodruff

Brian,

I almost feel like I'm in the same boat as you @ 22 yrs old and single for the exacty opposite reasons... the girl I was interested in and took flying on many occasions liked planes and didn't like me!  Not sure what's up with that... 

Her quote after a BBQ run... "I feel like people would be a lot happier if they all had planes".

[piperpainter]

Darn it! I even stopped in up in Jonesboro! haha Well hopefully I can find out one the West coast! .

Well, thats no good parker....women.....

 But back onto the main thread...goodluck with getting your wife to go up in time.

[leesh]

*(#&^ -- I just spent way too much time responding to George's stats, but when I posted it, everything was gone except the quote.

George, your numbers are right for GA, but wrong for auto fatalities. Look at http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov/Main/index.aspx . The fatality rate for autos in 2009 was 1.13 per 100 million miles. Let's say we drive 50 mph avg. That makes it 1.13 per 2 million hours, or a rate of 0.056 per 100,000 hours. Thus GA is 20 times more dangerous at 1.33 deaths per 100,000 hours. The motorcycle fatality rate is 30 times more than autos, so GA is more dangerous than autos, but safer than motorcycles. I recently saw an article that supported these numbers (I believe it was in AOPA or AvWeb, but can't find it).

My father flew and owned a Cherokee Six when I was very young. I remember a flight over the Rockies when I was about 13, where the engine cut out. It turned out to be fuel exhaustion in one of the tanks, and it started up again when he switched tanks, but I remember vividly the tension while he went through the checklist (my mother was terrified and praying). Shortly after that flight he sold the plane and bought a motorhome -- never flying again. I don't blame them for that decision with a young family. I got my license 30 years later, and have decided I'm willing to take the risks, but it would be a tougher decision if my kids weren't grown.

We don't do any service to ourselves or our passengers by sugarcoating or lying about the risks. Flying is potentially very dangerous. Personally, I don't feel I have the right to make the decision for my passengers. I try to discuss the risks honestly with them, and also explain what I do to try to minimize the risks, but if they don't want to take the risk, I have no right to force them into it. I know it's tough if you love flying but have a significant other who doesn't want to, but you should respect their wishes when it comes to deciding what risks they want to take.

Alisha

Quote: GeorgePerry

I respectfully disagree.  Here are some statistics from the national highway safey adimistration and the FAA.  In 2009, 34,000 Americans died on US highways.  In that same year the U.S. had a population of 307,006,550.  Studies show the average American conservatively spends 100+ hours per year in a car.  Those numbers equate to a vehicle-based fatality rate of 9.02 deaths per 100,000 hours of driving.  During the same year, General Aviation aircraft flew 20,456,000 hours with only 272 Fatalities.  That equates to a General Aviation aircraft fatality rate of 1.33 deaths per 100,000 hours of flying.  So it’s factually accurate to say travelers are 6.5 times more likely to die in a car than a General Aviation aircraft.  Statistics clearly show the most dangerous part of going somewhere in a GA aircraft is getting to the airport in a car. 

[Immelman]

I guess I should consider myself lucky; my wife will fly with me but likes it only from a transportation perspective. Absolutely no interest in aviation other than to humor me on occasion (i.e. she did spend 1 day at Oshkosh, hey better than none right?).

I've found over the years when talking to folks about GA or offering airplane rides that there is a certain proportion of the population that just won't try it.... and I had to learn to just stop asking or prodding (even gently) once I recognized this and to respect their limitations. This isn't scientific at all but just going through my various acquaintences and family members I'd guess somewhere between 1 in 10 and 1 in 5 fall into this category. It doesn't matter how perfect the day or the airplane is, they just won't. I'm guessing a lot of these folks would are uncomfortable and avoid even certain transport aircraft (i.e. anything smaller than a B737 class aircraft).

Another category is the nervous or anxious flyer, who will put their fears aside to try the experience out once. Treat these folks with respect, letting your preflight and inflight professionalism and confidence show-through so that they know their safety really is being put first. With these folks, I like to keeping the flying to perfect conditions at first until they're comfortable.

Then there are the 'give it to me' any way folks who perplex you with a rock-hard stomach that withstands bumps better than you do and say 'give me more' even if its their first airplane ride and you're having some fun... not much to worry about there. Unfortunately, I think that type is a bit more rare than the folks who won't fly at all.

[MARZ]

My wife to be is fully supportive - but is anxious (read nervous) to fly - we've been taking flights one at a time

First was in a trainer prior to my ppl, the constant chatter back and forth between me and the CFI was a bit unnerving to her, but she hung in there. 

The second was after my ppl and dual time requirement in the Mooney, we did some local flying and I told her that no matter if we were in the air for less than 5 minutes and she wanted to land to tell me - she did and I did - that gave her some confidence. 

The third was for a hundred dollar hamburger - the flight out was great - the return was a bit bouncy and hot.

There were a few short jumps from there - but the longest we did was from Houston to Gulf Shores to visit my folks - this is the flight that sealed the deal!!  Other than some low ceilings around Houston both out and back we enjoyed severe clear all along the coast line. 

Now she is always asking when the next flight is and wants to plan to the Bahamas  

[scottfromiowa]

GREAT post Leesh

[Wistarmo]

Things that have helped my wife tolerate flying:

1) She sees me obsessive about maintenance and meticulous care.  She knows that I will not tolerate any mechanical deficiencies, so she doesn't have to worry about equipment failures.

2) The plane is always spotless inisde and out.  Again, this goes to attention to detail.

3) I put a JPI engine monitor on the panel in front of her.

4) XM Weather is huge.  I keep us dry and out of heavy rain/turbulence.

5) XM Radio and Lightspeed Zulu headsets have gone a long way to make her trips more tolerable.  She enjoys listening to talk radio and sports. 

She does not love flying, but knows I have been doing it for 26 years.  She has gone from the point of refusing to ever do it to tolerating it to now even suggesting trips we might take.  She sees the benefits and freedom it provides. 

[RJBrown]

Quote: leesh

[scottfromiowa]

Randy,

I am going to defend Leesh...whom I do NOT believe (as SHE is a fellow pilot) believes that flying is inherantly dangerous.  She simply as I did stated a fact that general aviation is NOT safer than operating an automobile.  Period.  This is based on statistics that yes can be manipulated.  Attitudes are deeply seated and difficult to change...risk avoidance...BEHAVIORS which are observable and measurable CAN more redily be impacted sometimes resulting in the end effect of changing an attitude..."Afraid of flying" (attitude) that may be based on actual experience (learned behavior) or may be the result of seeing every aviation crash chronicled on the various media outlets giving the perception that aviation is INHERANTLY DANGEROUS.  Why attack her and state that she believes flying is really dangerous when she merely corrected a wrong statement that GA is "safer" than driving a motor vehicle?  Yes we as pilots can practice safe behaviors and "tip" the experience/exposure to accident/injury/fatality in our favor.  We do a dis-service by communicating that general aviation is "safer" than driving.  It's NOT.  Commercial aviation IS.  There are many reasons for this.  I have successfully modified my wife's attitude toward general aviation flight in my Mooney by practicing safe behavior and consistently erring on the side of caution...safety...avoiding risk.  Your experience/success may vary...Leesh, I apologize for speaking on your behalf.  Randy, if you find my response offensive I appologize.  I welcome PM's that agree or disagree, but will NOT defend/respond any more on this subject.

[leesh]

No need to apologize, Scott. You spoke on my behalf very well.

As a pilot, I'd love to be able to honestly say that flying is as safe as driving, but the evidence doesn't support that. If a pilot isn't honest with themselves about the risks, how can they take the proper action to minimize them?

Here's an article from Avweb that claims the margin between flying and driving is even greater than what I came up with: http://www.avweb.com/blogs/insider/AVwebInsider_SAFERecommendationsTwo_204629-1.html

Fly Safe!

Alisha (Leesh)

Quote: scottfromiowa

Randy,

I am going to defend Leesh...whom I do NOT believe (as SHE is a fellow pilot) believes that flying is inherantly dangerous.  She simply as I did stated a fact that general aviation is NOT safer than operating an automobile.  Period.  This is based on statistics that yes can be manipulated.  Attitudes are deeply seated and difficult to change...risk avoidance...BEHAVIORS which are observable and measurable CAN more redily be impacted sometimes resulting in the end effect of changing an attitude..."Afraid of flying" (attitude) that may be based on actual experience (learned behavior) or may be the result of seeing every aviation crash chronicled on the various media outlets giving the perception that aviation is INHERANTLY DANGEROUS.  Why attack her and state that she believes flying is really dangerous when she merely corrected a wrong statement that GA is "safer" than driving a motor vehicle?  Yes we as pilots can practice safe behaviors and "tip" the experience/exposure to accident/injury/fatality in our favor.  We do a dis-service by communicating that general aviation is "safer" than driving.  It's NOT.  Commercial aviation IS.  There are many reasons for this.  I have successfully modified my wife's attitude toward general aviation flight in my Mooney by practicing safe behavior and consistently erring on the side of caution...safety...avoiding risk.  Your experience/success may vary...Leesh, I apologize for speaking on your behalf.  Randy, if you find my response offensive I appologize.  I welcome PM's that agree or disagree, but will NOT defend/respond any more on this subject.

[gsengle]

I have the opposite problem.  Mine just falls asleep.  Totally nonplussed about flying.  I'll point out cool sights or clouds or whatnot, and I get a *yawn*...  I guess I prefer this to not being willing!

[ChrisH]

My SO has been very reluctant to fly, and it's due to GA's reputation for safety. It's interesting to see the numbers bantered around here, and the confusion even in our community on the relative safety of flying. 

I'd suggest reading http://www.ntsb.gov/publictn/2009/ARG0901.pdf for anyone that really wants to get behind the overall stats for flying, it's quite an interesting read. 

 

[RJBrown]

Quote: leesh

 

[Skywarrior]

My wife used to flinch whenever she rode in a car with me. I asked why. "You get too close to the other cars! I'm afraid you're going to hit them!"

Fair enough. I modified my driving habits (a bit, let's not get carried away, now) to help her out.

After I got my PPL, I asked her if she wanted to go fly with me. She assented, and the flight was wonderful - she enjoyed the sightseeing and the thrill of it all.

When we got back home, I asked her how it was that she is so nervous riding with me in a car, but so calm in an airplane.

"There's nobody else up there for you to run into!"

 

Whatever works...

 

Chuck M.

[jetdriven]

its all in how you first display it.  I have had prospective students who,  after a half hour lesson on a discovery flight, I showed them what happens when you pull the throttle to idle. Nothing really.    No power, the plane just glides, see it doesn't fall out of the sky.  That takes a lot of the fear of flying out right there.  

Re: being conservative: Its all about risk management. People often dont have the ability to accurately judge risk, given as many people dont believe in running a tank dry, landing on anything shorter than a 3500 paved strip, or landing in a 15 knot crosswind.  

[GeorgePerry]

Quote: leesh