aggiepilot04 Posted March 12, 2022 Author Report Posted March 12, 2022 This is starting to feel like a contest on how deletable we can make this thread, and clearly, I cannot delete this thread. Y'all be nice. Quote
rbp Posted March 12, 2022 Report Posted March 12, 2022 40 minutes ago, ilovecornfields said: Sometimes comprehension can be improved by reading the entire post. Maybe try it out and let us know how it works for you? You don’t have to choose between information and being polite to people. We can have both. And we can do it without this kind of passive aggression Quote
Mooneymite Posted March 12, 2022 Report Posted March 12, 2022 My mother was born long before the Internet in primitive times, but she always told me, "If it's not nice, don't say it."Â Do you think that's adaptable to the more modern Internet? 1 Quote
ilovecornfields Posted March 12, 2022 Report Posted March 12, 2022 23 minutes ago, rbp said: You don’t have to choose between information and being polite to people. We can have both. And we can do it without this kind of passive aggression Having a polite informed discussion between two or more people requires them to be both polite and informed. When you simply quote a line of someone’s post and then make a derogatory statement regarding that post without either reading or comprehending the rest of the post that is neither polite nor informed. If you had bothered reading the rest of my post which you quoted you would have seen how I argued that some people are, in fact, capable of both and therefore it is not a “false dichotomy.” So did you not read the entire post, not understand it, or simply chose to ignore it because it didn’t support the false assertion your were trying to make? It takes two to tango. It’s a little disingenuous to accuse someone of displaying an undesirable behavior when you are doing it as well. I’m at least trying to be honest and transparent about what I’m doing. Quote
rbp Posted March 12, 2022 Report Posted March 12, 2022 13 minutes ago, ilovecornfields said: I argued that some people are, in fact, capable of both I did read it, and you said "there are people that can correct knowledge deficits, misunderstandings and misinformation without using any strong statements or language but those are few and far between" which I took to mean that its not the norm. I am saying that polite and informative should be the norm.  I'm not sure why you felt that "false dichotomy" was derogatory. you gave two alternatives and called the other option 'far and few between'". So, in the most technical sense its not a dichotomy, but the way your phrased your point, there was little room between the choices.  Quote
ilovecornfields Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 I think you just figured it out! I took offense at your statement because it wasn’t true and misrepresented what I said. Not sure why you wouldn’t have expected that response. Most people don’t like it when others misrepresent what they say and make assertions that aren’t true. Yes, it would be great if people could be polite and informative all the time but sometimes you only get to choose one and in cases where lives are at risk I would rather have someone be informative than polite. I don’t really get my feelings hurt over what people on the internet say about me but I can definitely get hurt by following bad advice. Quote
FlyingDude Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 38 minutes ago, ilovecornfields said: I would rather have someone be informative than polite. I don’t really get my feelings hurt over what people on the internet say about me but I can definitely get hurt by following bad advice. You sing to my soul, brother! OF COURSE I too try to be nice and expect other people to be nice. But in the absence thereof, were I to choose, I'd rather a great advice coming from a dirty mouth than shitty advice coming from a smooth talker. Though good advice from a polite person is without doubt better and honestly that has been my experience at MS over the past 18 months... I've had good experiences so far and I'm glad MS exists...   2 Quote
carusoam Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 Keep in mind we are all very different…. Some of us respond to the same thing the same way… only the response comes out really harsh, based on the way that individual writes… An example of being in Italy was given… great if we all came from there…. or finished each post with a disclaimer…  Some people can write eloquently… others are stuck with a basic numbered list format… We all count equally… around here… Some are appreciated more than others….  You never know who is going to answer your question… the best… Expect to be disappointed along the way… MS is full of really good and experienced people…  all sharing insights… often from their experience outside of aviation… To get the most out of MS… Write friendly enough… Re-read often… your post and theirs…  There is always going to be a misunderstanding… Enjoy the differences… Know that you are probably not the person who thought titling a thread “F the FAA” was a good idea….    In case you think you are a really good writer…. Know that MS has about four or more pro writers…. Their posts are just more fun to read…  +1 for Mite’s Mom’s take on things… something to consider when you don’t have anything nice to say…  PP thoughts only, not everybody can read every post… Best regards, -a-  Quote
ilovecornfields Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 I like Mite’s mom’s take on things and that was a very common strategy of her generation - avoid conflict at all costs. I recently saw a cirrhotic patient in her 30’s who’s entire household admitted to me that  they clearly knew she had a problem but didn’t want to upset her by talking about it. She will either get a liver transplant soon or die.  Neither one is a good choice and it likely could have been prevented if someone had intervened sooner. ”Be nice at all costs” works. Until it doesn’t. In my opinion, saying something bluntly can sometimes be more caring than not saying anything at all. A lot of denial and conflict avoidance took place in that generation (not that it doesn’t now) but I think we’ve learned that pretending something doesn’t exist and praying that it will just go away on its own doesn’t always end well. I’m not trying to excuse being an a-hole but sometimes the person confronting you about your dangerous behavior actually cares much more about you than all the people who noticed it and kept their mouths shut because they were “trying to be nice.” Quote
carusoam Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 Being an A-hole in public is often a last resort… when the topic is personal to be shared with that person’s local community (family, house, neighbors, church…) Taking a tough stance, when nobody knows your background, takes courage…  Getting people to see your guidance… mom’s have a way to describe this…. You can catch more flys with honey than vinegar…  -mom  I never saw mom’s point, until being here so often…. Best regards, -a- 1 Quote
rbp Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 17 hours ago, ilovecornfields said: I think you just figured it out! I took offense at your statement because it wasn’t true and misrepresented what I said. Not sure why you wouldn’t have expected that response. Most people don’t like it when others misrepresent what they say and make assertions that aren’t true. Yes, it would be great if people could be polite and informative all the time but sometimes you only get to choose one and in cases where lives are at risk I would rather have someone be informative than polite. I don’t really get my feelings hurt over what people on the internet say about me but I can definitely get hurt by following bad advice. you don't get your "feelings hurt," but you "take offense"? ok Quote
rbp Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 15 hours ago, ilovecornfields said: I’m not trying to excuse being an a-hole but sometimes the person confronting you about your dangerous behavior actually cares much more about you than all the people who noticed it and kept their mouths shut because they were “trying to be nice.” a person who is "confronting you" and behaving like an "a-hole" lacks empathy, and their ability to communicate their concerns about dangerous behavior is limited to people who will put up with their shit. In the worse case scenario (such as "tough love" parents) its abusive. Quote
Mooneymite Posted March 13, 2022 Report Posted March 13, 2022 (edited) 18 hours ago, ilovecornfields said: I like Mite’s mom’s take on things and that was a very common strategy of her generation - avoid conflict at all costs. ... ...”Be nice at all costs” works.... Ah.....nope.  "If it isn't nice, don't say it", does not = "Be nice at all costs". Not at all... as anyone who ever knew my mother could tell you. My mother could tell you to go to hell and you'd look forward to the trip.  I wish I had her ability. Edited March 13, 2022 by Mooneymite 1 Quote
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