You Might Be a Redneck Pilot if...

[xftrplt]

* Your stall warning plays "Dixie". 

* Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints. 

* You think sectional charts should show trailer parks. 

* You've ever used moonshine as Avgas. 

* You have mudflaps on your wheel pants. 

* Your toothpick keeps poking your mike. 

* You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer. 

* You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee. 

* You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock. 

* The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.

* You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut. 

* You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight. 

* You refer to formation flying as, "We got us a convoy". 

* Your matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from the Piggly Wiggly. 

* You have a black airplane with a big number 3 on the side. 

* You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar. 

* You've got a gun rack on the passenger window. 

* You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together. 

* Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear. 

* You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations. 

* You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane. 

* You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years. 

* You've ground looped after hitting a cow. 

* You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight. 

* There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere. 

* You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area. 

* You answer all radio calls from females with, "That's a big 10-4 little darlin'". 

* There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left. 

* You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats. 

* You use your parachute to cover your plane. 

* You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee. 

* You fly to family reunions to meet girls. 

* You've won the "Barbed Wire" award at a spot landing contest. 

* Some of your favorite navigation aids have things like "Seniors 96" hand painted on them. 

* The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match. 

* Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels. 

* You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass. 

* You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold. 

* Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn. 

* You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin. 

* There are grass stains on your propeller tips. 

* There is a brown stained Styrofoam cup strategically placed in your glove box. 

* The FAA still thinks you live at your parents house. 

* You think Zulu is an African time zone. 

* Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured. 

* Somewhere on your airplane is a "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker. 

* You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations. 

* When you get to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu. 

* You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser. 

* Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, " Hey, ya'll watch this!!". 

[skyking]

and.... you have a deer tied down on the cowling!

[garytex]

Your last runway incursion incident involved a javelina darting across a friends driveway.