I thought I always wanted to be an airline pilot!,

[thinwing]

17 hours ago, jlunseth said:

I like this one better:

Once upon a time a pilot found a beautiful princess and asked her, "Will you marry me?"

The princess said, "No!"

And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew jets all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted flight attendants and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........

The end.

I copied it from http://www.flyingsquadron.com/forums/topic/18963-cool-pilot-story/ , but it has been all over the Internet for quite awhile.

It has a happier ending.

And than the happy ,beer swilling,farting,big breasted stewardess chasing pilot got a letter one day from 27 angry flight attendants claiming paternity of there 27 kids plus threats to tell his employer of unwanted sexual harassment while on duty unless he paid up!

[jlunseth]

6 hours ago, thinwing said:

And than the happy ,beer swilling,farting,big breasted stewardess chasing pilot got a letter one day from 27 angry flight attendants claiming paternity of there 27 kids plus threats to tell his employer of unwanted sexual harassment while on duty unless he paid up!

And they made it into a movie and he made even more money and lived even more happily ever after.  And then he became President of the United States and wasn’t very happy for awhile, but that went away and he established a personal foundation that everyone contributed big bunches of money to so he bought his own Caribbean island that had a place to moor his sailboat and a ramp to drive his amphibious plane up onto dry ground when he wanted to park it and he went diving for lobster every day and. drank Cayman Sunsets every night and watched the sun go down over the ocean.

And never had to listen to anymore bitching.

The end.

Edited March 24, 2018 by jlunseth

[jlunseth]

Eventually, though, he did switch from beer and started drinking cabernets and bordeaux’s instead, and the bordeaux’s were especially nice, and he also would occasionally drink a good single malt.

The end.

[thinwing]

Sniff...I hated to see such a wonderful story ever come to an end.....ooh ooh l know ...there he is watching a beautiful sunset,having a glass of 2006 seven deadly sins zinfindel...when suddenly a small sail boat appears ,and out pops a poorly dressed guy who says" hi my names little Timmy".....

[jlunseth]

Well, then the story could branch off one of two ways.  Either the pilot falls for it, gives Little Timmy some money, and tells Little Timmy he will be his Daddy forever, until he is at the shopping mall in Nassau one day and sees Little Timmy with balloons in his hand, walking around on a shopping spree, and then finds out that he is one of Little Timmy’s five “Daddys” who are contributing to Little Timmy’s well-being and good fortune or, he could figure it out right away, and being a pilot that is probably what he does, so he reports Little Timmy, the Bahamian Police figure it out, they pick Little Timmy up, and the pilot goes home to have a Cayman Sunset and lives happily ever after.  Well, not exactly, because the next day his Lake won’t run lean of peak so he has to spend a couple of weeks figuring out why the spark is bad, but he does, and after that he lives happily ever after.

Oh, and the Princess, having been through three marriages, having three kids in tow, and having run out of other peoples money, calls him up just to “Catch Up,” but he figures that one out too, and lives happily ever after.

Having flown quite a bit of IFR in IMC, the pilot has finally figured out what a box canyon looks like, and does not fly into them anymore “just to see what will happen.”

The end.

Is this thread drifting fun or what?

Edited March 24, 2018 by jlunseth

[thinwing]

The end

[jlunseth]

Not quite.  The pilot is not without companionship.  He found a nice North Dakota girl who grew up on a farm.  Really pretty, not afraid to break a nail or get too far from a salon, and definitely willing to pull her own weight in all things.  She likes to fly, and sail. He doesn’t ask Princesses to go to a movie anymore.  Now, he is really living happily ever after.

The end.

[thinwing]

And the father of the pretty north Dacota girl passed away after a long successful career consolidating many medium size farms into One gigantic Agra corporation leaving the entire operation to his only daughter!Also the father had wisely preserved all subsurface mining rights giving them rights to 70% of North Dakota's bachen oil shale formation.Income and royalties from all combined businesses totaled in excess of 1 billion dollars per annum.Soon the happy couple living on the Caribbean island needed a AgustaWestland AW189 heavy lift helicopter in order to commute to nearest runway suitable for their Gulfstream G5 .This allowed comfortable travel between North Dakota and their Caribbean island to make board meetings and return home in time to envoy Caymen Sunsets overlooking the bay.