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In memory


jaylw314

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This is mostly off topic, but my best friend passed away last night after a 4 year fight with cancer.  I mention her here because she was the first person brave enough to go flying with me after I got my PPL ticket 8 years ago.  We used to work together, and about a week after getting my ticket, I casually asked if she wanted to go up after work and she thought for about a half-second, and said "sure!"  I like to think she had confidence in me because we learned to trust each other at work.  In fact, I just checked my logbook and my note says "Sightseeing with Kris--didn't terrify her."  She had a blast and trusted me with flights with her 6 year old son later.  That DID terrify me, there's nothing quite as anxiety provoking as being responsible for someone else's child!

After she was diagnosed with cancer, she started having treatments up in Seattle, and complained about the drive up there being so difficult.  That was the thing that actually prompted me to think about getting the Mooney and start work on my IFR rating.  I had the image in my head of helping her get up to her treatments so she wouldn't have to take the train or slog through traffic.  Alas, the treatments up in Seattle ended shortly after I started my IFR work, so I never got to help her out that way, and afterwards, all her treatments ended up being local.  Still, in that way she's connected with the Mooney.

Just because she is one of the few people who has been flying with me, I'd like to think there's a small part of her that goes up with me each time, and if I look up, maybe I'll see her.  

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Cancer REALLY SUCKS!  Sorry to hear about your friend.  I flown airlifeline flights since 1994 and many patients I have flown I also attended their funerals.  The only bright side is we've shared some special time with them!  

I honestly believe your friends impact on YOUR life will allow you to impact another's in the future!

Tom

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Maybe you will have the opportunity to take her son flying again. It might be difficult at first but beneficial for both of you.

I lost my Dad to Cancer a couple of years ago. I kept our airplane, the last one he ever flew. The same one we flew to the 50th Anniversary of Airventure in 2002 and the one we flew to Dayton to celebrate the Centennial of Flight in 2003. The plane we flew to Souther Field in Americus, GA...the site of Lindbergh’s first solo...and to Moton, AL to see where the Tuskegee Airmen flew. We also took the 172 to the Swift fly-in in Crete Couer, MO one year and lots of other places that seem to fade in and out of memory now.

Every time I go down to the field and see the plane I remember him. I can still picture him at our hangar. That was real, real tough early on but somehow it seemed to get easier as time went by. I dealt with my grief by fixing up our airplane and making it a real nice airplane. Dad would have been proud of it although I can imagine him saying to me “why didn’t you sell that stupid thing and get a better airplane?” How can you sell the last airplane that you and your Dad flew together? I just can’t do it.

Cancer is hard, not only on the patient but on the patient’s loved ones as well. Often the outcome is pre-determined and unlikely to be altered by even the best intentioned efforts. Knowledge is at once both a wonderful and terrible thing in these instances. You know what is going to happen, when it is likely to happen, the warning signs that you will see as the end nears. You feel helpless to do anything about it.

I think the time that we share with those we care about is the best, most precious gift that we can give. Life is fragile and tomorrow is never guaranteed. So spending your time with someone, taking her and her boy for an airplane ride was a very special gift that you gave to them both. I’m sure that it created a special memory that neither of them will ever forget. If you want to give her one more special gift, look in on her Son now and then. Make sure he is okay. I’m sure she would appreciate that.

I am sorry for your loss.

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